The Awful Moment After
by missingeurope
Summary: The confrontation by the time machine at 2015 has not been without casualties. This story takes a closer look at what's going on inside Ramse and Cole's head after the final fallout from 'Arms of Mine'.


Ramse lay silently on the ground as he took slow painful breaths. He held on to the gunshot wound and watched as the blood slowed from a spill to a trickle under the pressure of his hand. He considered whether he should just let go and allow himself to bleed out.

_What have I done?_ The question played itself over in his mind. When Olivia told him that history will record him as having been found dead next to the time machine, he thought it was meant to be the guard. He thought he was was meant to shoot the guard whom they would misidentify as him, as part of the cover story they had agreed on to allow him to return quietly to his son.

_His son._ He can't even remember his own son's face, and Elena is long dead. All he wants is to see his son again, and he's not sure how likely that's going to happen now. Did Olivia ever really plan for him to see his son again? This hope had kept him going for the past 28 years, but now, he can feel it fading. Once again, he considered lifting his hand from the wound. He held on fast though, because that's what survivors do. If he's meant to die today, the bullet wound will take care of that all by itself without his help.

Ramse watched quietly as Cole lifted Cassie's weak and dying body up into his arms and close to his body. The way his brother held Cassie, it was as if she was the most precious thing in the world to him. It hurt him to have to watch Cole set her bleeding body down so carefully at the time machine, as if he was afraid he would break her. He watched Cassie too. The way she looked at Cole, he could see how much Cole meant to her too.

He looked on as Cole and Cassie said their tearful and trembling goodbyes to each other. The panic and emotion that passed unspoken between his brother and the woman he that he so clearly adored, left Ramse feeling quite shook up. He watched as Cole's world fell apart again and felt the full force of his betrayal to his best friend, his brother, hit him in the gut.

_Ramse, you son of a bitch, when did you become that guy? Was it really worth it? _Even as Ramse lay dying here, a part of his humanity that he had buried a long time ago started to resurface. A pressure built up behind his eyes, but his weakened and parched body kept his eyes dry. He shook his head gently, closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

The room was now silent, as Cole took off shortly after Cassie's splintering. It was such a shock to see Cole alive, he just knew immediately that all these years, he was right to suspect that Olivia might not have been providing him with the whole truth.

He wondered whether he had been played by Olivia like a pawn in a larger game which he would not have willingly signed up to. Olivia will not help him now - either she had meant for him to die today, or she would force him to kill Cole if she finds him alive. She is not a friend. _What was he thinking?_

He thought about why he had almost instinctually given Cassie the time serum - this was not a scenario he had ran through his mind before today. He didn't understand it entirely himself, but his keenly honed survival instincts had told him to do it.

So what was it that made him do it? If he's entirely honest with himself, it wasn't really because he thought Katarina Jones would not save him - even if that might be the case. He wondered if he had sent Cassie to the future, in case it might stop Cole from doing something in 2015 that will erase his son's future. No, that wasn't it. He knows that wouldn't have worked. If he has learned anything about Jones at all, it's her obsession to the mission. And the mission will never have started if Cassie stays in the future. Jones will do anything to send Cassie back safely.

And then he finally understood why he did that. If he survives this shooting, he's going to need more time serum if he wants to see his son again. Dr Jones, Katarina's husband, is compromised, so he can't go back to the source for more. But sending Cassie forward could help him.

Cassie is not immune to the virus, so Jones will have to protect her until she can send her back here. And whilst it is a long shot, if Cassie makes it back, she would be the only doctor that he knows of whom could be convinced to analyse the sample left in the syringe and reverse engineer more time serum. He'll have to work out how to convince her later, if both of them pull through by the skin of their teeth. He tucked the syringe safely into his jacket pocket.

Ramse remembered something Jones said to Cole once, about Dr Cassandra Railly: "Remember Mr Cole. She is not the mission. She is just a puzzle piece." He half chuckled to himself at the cruel irony of the new situation. Cassie is now central to everyone's mission.

Ramse's only job now will be to try not to die, even though he knows it will take a miracle for that to happen. He pressed on to his wound a little harder, knowing that a time traveller's body can withstand greater injury and heal more quickly, given the chance.

He silently thanked his lucky stars that he had the foresight to make contingencies over the past few years, by quietly skimming off the surface of Ethan Seki's portfolio under another name, which he can rely on if he ever needed to disappear from Olivia's grip. Call it his survival instinct and wisdom from age.

Cole was sprinting down the hallway at break neck speed. He was completely beside himself with a sharp grief that clenched at his heart. He has once again lost Cassie either through time or death. And the worst bit is that he would have no idea whether she made it to Jones or not, or whether she could even be saved.

He could still see her face as the light was fading from her eyes, and how that had made him freeze to the spot, unable to stay his hands away from stroking her beautiful face. Seeing her in that kind of pain just ripped him to shreds. He felt so helpless, and now his world is stark and empty with her gone. He clenched his fists into tight balls and dug his nails into his palms to stop himself from shouting out in anguish.

Last night in that rented room, he had allowed himself to believe that he could have had a future with Cassie at least until 2017, to continue the fight together. Two years or even a few more days with her would have been a sweet eternity. How foolish it was that he thought they had time.

Cole thought of that kiss they had shared right before they ordered takeaway and sat down to draw up their battle plans. Rattled by the rawness of the recent memories, he ground his teeth into his clenched jaw and let out some air through flared nostrils. It pained him now that he can remember so clearly what her mouth tasted like and how nice her hair smelt. He didn't know if he could handle much more of this.

He remembered how they had agreed that once the coast was clear, they would go back for her car and to retrieve the digital backups of her investigation which got destroyed in the blast he caused at the library. After that, they agreed that the next priority would be to find, capture, and if necessary, physically persuade Aaron to tell them what he knows.

Understanding their grim task ahead, Cole didn't think it was _the moment_ to try it on with Cassie last night. It was her ex, after all, which they were planning an assault and interrogation on. So he had just held her in his arms and stroked her hair gently until she fell asleep. He thought he had time to be a gentleman.

He opened his hands and saw that he drew blood. Everything had happened so quickly, he wasn't thinking clearly about what to do now that Cassie is gone. Before Cassie came in and shot Ramse, Cole had asked Ramse if he had really become the kind of person who would kill 7 billion people to save one. He remembered his response: "You'd do the same thing, for her. You're going to tell me, that you risking your life coming back all this time was for everyone? No… Cassie." He remembered feeling shaken by what Ramse had said. He did not want to admit that Ramse might have been right. But Cole could swear that he also saw a bit of his brother's humanity come back.

_Stop, Cole. Stop running. You have to go back to save yourself._ It was almost as if he heard Cassie calling out to him from inside his head as his voice of reason. He had left Ramse to bleed out, but he knew he had to go back. He can't let him die here on his own, not after everything they have gone through. Watching young Cole meet young Jose again the other day also brought him right back. Besides, Ramse may have valuable information, and his own survival in 2015 as an undocumented individual can get tricky on his own. Going back to save Ramse is the right thing to do. No one has to die. They can find another way.

Cole grabbed Ramsey up from the ground and threw his limp arm over his own shoulder. Both of them were familiar with the facilities and knew the way out by the vents. They made it to Cassie's car. This car is the only thing that Cole has left of Cassie, and it will save them today. He took the keys out from where Cassie had hidden them nearby, in case either of them needed a quick escape from an unexpected intrusion, like the one that got Cassie killed outside the night room that time. They thought they had planned for everything, but not this.

Cole quickly strapped reams of dressing over Jose's bleeding torso to keep pressure on his wound, then set him down across the back row of the seats. "Thanks Cole… we can… find…" gurgled Jose weakly. "Don't talk, Jose. Keep still. We'll take a closer look once we get somewhere safe." Jose nodded weakly and looked his brother in the eye with gratitude. "Okay. I'll just close my eyes for a bit... So... Tired..." "Hold on, Jose, we will get out of this together and figure out another way."

Cole sat himself behind the wheel and looked into the mirror. He could see that his eyes were red and swollen. _I can't lose two people whom my life has depended on, all in the same day. _Without further delay_, _he turned the key in the ignition to start the engine. The car roared to life along with the music. Otis Redding's Arms of Mine came on. Cole immediately smashed his hand on the player to make it stop, and hoped that he didn't break it. That song is just too raw for him right now.

It was a sunny day, but Cole felt as if all the stars have gone out. He had to summon all his strength to focus on driving the car without crashing it. He just about managed to return to where he shared a room with Cassie last night. Luckily, other drivers were obviously buoyed by the weather and were willing to overlook his occasional erratic handle on the wheel.

His parking job was awful, but he didn't care. He rummaged through the boot and found a medical kit, which was much better stocked than the kits they used to use at the West VII camps to patch each other up. He's done this before so he can do it again. He helped Jose up the stairs and into the room, set him down on the bed, and removed the old dressings.

Now that the adrenaline has subsided a bit, he looked over at Jose and wondered what he was to do with him once he manages to get his condition stabilised. He honestly didn't know, but now is hardly the time to get philosophical. Instead, he quickly got to work with extracting the bullet fragments, cleaning the wound, and stitching it up. Jose passed out during the operation, but he was still breathing. Jose has lost a lot of blood, so he'll need fluids. Luckily for him, Cassie's car boot is a mini mobile emergency room. Jose will make it.

Cole paced around the room until he came to the desk. His gaze fell on the empty takeaway boxes that remained on the desk. He could still see a trace of Cassie's lipstick on one of the plastic spoons. He touched his hand on the spoon and felt a lump rise to his throat.

_Pull yourself together Cole. Stop thinking of Cassie as dead and gone. If Jose's serum worked and she made it through, Jones will make sure she comes back. You've just got to survive and figure out where she can find you. You will see her again. _

He cleared the desk of the rubbish from last night and threw it into the bin, then threw himself like a sack of potatoes onto the chair. He stared blankly at the empty space on the table. He thought he saw something that wasn't there before. _Is that...?_ Amongst the scratches on the table's surface he saw something that looked like a freshly etched message: 'See you soon' next to a post code.


End file.
